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"I almost burned the house down." 

We often use it to describe a cooking disaster. It is most often used to exaggerate a situation. This phrase usually comes hand in hand with most of my cooking and baking attempts. As bad as I am in the kitchen, there have never been actual flames or any real encounter of actual destruction. Unfortunately, this simple saying can now be used in its most literal meaning. Today, I really almost burned my apartment down.

My goal was to blog about the fire before Justin got around to telling anybody about it. This way, I would be able to tell my account of the story before he got around to telling everybody about my dangerous stupidity! Unfortunately, he had already told Reesa, but I figured I would blog anyways.

Before Justin got in the shower he asked me to do a simple task: take the pot off the burner when it whistles. Piece of cake! The tea pot whistles, I turn it off and put it on a different burner. I resume my hair drying and at least five minutes go by. Over the sound of my dryer, I begin to notice a beeping sound. I turn off my dryer and listened to what I thought was a delivery truck of some sort backing up outside my window. Just as I was about to turn my dryer back on, I noticed the loud crackling sounds. It was at this moment, that I ran out my bedroom door to find the entire apartment in smoke. Due to the terror of the situation, I do not recall the moment in full, but I do remember seeing my stove completely in flames. I began banging on the bathroom door yelling "the house is on fire" and Justin came out immediately. He told me to call 911, and while I was attempting to do so, he heroically saved the entire day. 

Now, the good part. In my attempts to turn off the burner, I apparently turned on the burner next to it (Brilliant, I know), all while not turning off the intended burner to begin with! On top of this adjacent burner, was Justin's beloved popcorn maker. I am still uncertain of why it was there. In the five minutes it took to blow dry my hair, the popcorn maker caught on fire! Do not be deceived by the picture. This was a legitimate fire! Justin grabbed the popcorn maker, which at this point was completely consumed in flames, and threw it in the sink. Justin was not burned. And I am now in debt one popcorn maker. Our apartment smells like burnt plastic. We smell like smoke. Our shower smells like smoke. This is a hard scent to get rid of!

Rest in Peace, Justin's popcorn maker!

After the fire fiasco cooled down, I took this opportunity to relieve myself of kitchen duties forever. I tried to convince Justin that I should never be allowed in the kitchen. No cooking, no baking, no dishwashing. These were my hopes. Apparently, not even fires in the kitchen can keep me away from such tasks.

I have decided to revise my Christmas list with the addition of a fire extinguisher. Happy December!